Adventures with Japanese Horror: Ginuea Pig movies

 

Hello again, guys and ghouls. 

I hope you're all faring well during our current year of hell. We're officially past the halfway point, so now as we're slipping into a new season and potentially into oblivion, we can slow down officially now that the spring and summer season are fading into fall and winter. 

And since we're heading into fall you know what that means- Halloween. And of course Halloween means a lot of us are going to be watching more scary, spooky, creepy and ooky flicks. It comes with the territory- what better way to experience fear and horror from the safety of our homes than on our TV screens? Okay, and obviously I'm not referring to the real horror and fear on the news every day; this is a chance for us to distance ourselves from the actual real atrocities we are living through and venture into and come out of some temporarily threatening situations in a fictional reality and be totally A-OK because ultimately it's just a scary movie. 

I know it's still really early for Halloween, and I know I have been focusing on some spooky and disturbing movies for the past few months anyway. If I'm being completely honest I haven't really stopped trying to push myself into watching more and more disturbing films- I guess it's my new way of coping with the crippling existential dread that 2020 has given a lot of us. But I was thinking, why not start listing some stuff early? Why not share some interesting or gross titles with you guys before the big day so you have plenty of time to decide which movies to add to your Halloween-movie-marathon list? Anyway, that's the goal I'm going for here. 

So first we're going to focus on some great horror from Japan. I don't know if any of you have ever seen any Japanese horror or thriller movies, but honestly, they're probably some of my favorite horror flicks- they are more cerebral and foreboding than American horror, I would say. While American horror focuses on a lot of startling tactics, utilizing score and jump scares, Japanese horror tends to be more quiet, more reserved, and it always builds up to it's peak of fear instead of smacking the audience in the face with effects or surprises. 

Some of the most notable Japanese horror movies would definitely be Ju-On and Ringu; both titles have a fair amount of sequels and both of which have been adopted and remade in America as The Grudge and The Ring or Rings. The Death Note movies were also choice- the ones that actually came from Japan and not the one Netflix spat out to us a few years ago (for those of you who haven't seen it, don't. It's a waste of time). These flicks are really great, and I'm honestly a huge fan of  each of them and highly recommend checking them out, but there are so many more extremely creepy and disturbing films from the Land of the Rising Sun that more people should know about. Today, we're going to be talking about some pretty extreme titles- specifically, The Guinea Pig movies. 

**Warning! Warning! You are now entering the part of the blog that discusses potentially triggering topics such as mutilation, bodily fluids, torture, abduction, mental illness, etc. If any of these topics will cause you to stress out, have a panic attack or whatever, maybe consider not reading further. If you keep reading, hey- you've been warned. Don't at me. 

The Guinea Pig movies (ギニーピッグ, Ginī Piggu) are a series of films that came out in Japan in the 80's and early 90's. They all feature different stories, all of which are dark, twisted, and disturbing. If you're thinking that these movies involve adorable, cuddly rodents you are clearly reading the wrong blog and need to turn back now. The movies in this series call themselves "Guinea Pig" as their subject matter, production, and special effects are all of a purely experimental fashion. These movies are pretty intense in terms of gore- if you have a hard time stomaching a lot of violence and blood effects, these are some films you probably would have a hard time with. 

The Guinea Pig movie series has 6 movies in total- one title in particular has earned itself a cult following, which we will talk about later, but others don't seem to be as well-known, at least from what I've seen in my research and viewing. 

Years later, the Guinea Pig series would be picked up and essentially added-onto by the film production company Unearthed Films, where they released American Guinea Pig. I haven't watched any of these, and currently I'm not in a huge rush to watch them. Call me an elitist or a hipster, but I'm more interested in the original batch. 

For this blog, I've watched 5 of the films, one of which I couldn't find a good version of, so hopefully one day I'll finish the whole catalog, but as of right now we'll go with the 5 I did see. So strap yourselves in, kids. We're going to deep-dive into some of the most intense horror from the Land of the Rising Sun... 

The Devil's Experiment

The Devil's Experiment is the first in the series and honestly, I found it to be the most simultaneously boring, and jacked up of the films in the series, if that makes any sense. Essentially the film just focuses on some group of guys who have abducted a woman and they torture her a whole lot for, from what I could tell, unknown reasons. They spend the first like, 4 minutes of the movie slapping her. Most of the slaps looked thankfully like prat-slaps, so they didn't appear to actually connect with her face from the angle it was shot in. But later the camera changes angles and I'm pretty sure a few of the slaps actually connected with her cheek, and that bugged me a lot. Later they put her in a swivel chair and just spin her around and around until she vomits and passes out, which in watching it I was thinking sarcastically, "...Wow... that's some hardcore torture, fellas..." but the more I put myself in her shoes the less sarcastic I got about it. Then there's a period where they put some headphones on her head and play loud, ear-drum wrecking noises, and again, that was simultaneously disturbing and also boring because eventually, my mind tapped out and got more wrapped up in a game on my cellphone than watching something awful like that. Eventually it ramps up to them straight up inserting needles in her eyes, and that's where the movie got me freaking out. And eventually, from what I could tell, they just leave her for dead in the forest. That's it- that's the movie. 

This one was definitely the weakest film in terms of production quality, though how they pulled off those eye-effects is still a dang mystery to me- but this one like I said, was simultaneously dull and disturbing in my opinion (*note* I almost put "in my eyes", but I figured it was too soon...). If you want to challenge yourself, this is flick will definitely be just that, but honestly I didn't think this was all that great for many reasons, so don't beat yourself up if you decide to skip it. 

Flower of Flesh and Blood

Well well well- here we go with probably the most notorious of the films in the Guinea Pig series, Flower of Flesh and Blood.  This film is probably the most prolific in the series and as mentioned at the beginning of this blog, it has garnered a bit of a cult following among horror fans. Here's a fun bit of trivia for you- allegedly, once Charlie Sheen happened upon this movie, watched it, and was absolutely convinced this was a real-life snuff film, so he contacted the FBI to look into it. Oh boy, friends, we're in for a treat. 

Flowers of Flesh and Blood (ギニーピッグ2 血肉の華, Ginī Piggu 2: Chiniku no Hana) was directed by the legendary horror mangaka (manga artist) Hideshi Hino and focuses on a woman who one night gets abducted off of the street by some wacko who is dressed like a samurai. Samurai-guy then takes her to what I'm assuming is is home and proceeds to drug her, dismember her, ultimately murder her- all the while marveling over how beautiful the human body is when it's bleeding and getting chopped up. Then, for the finale we get a little tour and are shown what he does with the fun trophies he gets from his victims. Seriously, if you were expecting more of a story here, you'll be sadly let down- not many of these films are heavy in the story department, as they're usually only 40 minutes long.  But what this film lacks in overt storyline, it really made up for with its notoriety. The film was pretty much black listed because of its extreme depiction of gore, and is also allegedly influenced serial killer Tsutomu Miyazaki, who is known as the Otaku Killer. Isn't that fun, you guys? 

In terms of effects, some of them are disturbingly good- and a couple of them are seen in other movies in this series. Luckily though, they're not too good, because there are a few times were you can just tell the things on screen are fake, so hopefully none of you brave souls who end up watching this movie will think it's real. Just remember kids- it's all just a movie, it's all just a movie... 

Flower of Flesh and Blood is one that I find pretty scary, just because on of my biggest fears is getting abducted off the street and tortured, so in terms of a horror movie it does deliver a fright factor. This is also a fun film to challenge yourself with, or even see how far you and a group of friends can get into it. It's pretty intense, like we've discussed, but in terms of Japanese horror and gore, this is definitely a heavy hitter that has to be experienced at some point. 

He Never Dies

He Never Dies, or Shudder! The Man Who Never Dies (ギニーピッグ3 戦慄! 死なない男, Ginī Piggu 3: Senritsu! Shinanai Otoko) is probably my favorite film in this series. It honestly has a more dark-comedic tone than the other movies on the list, and while it does have some pretty gross imagery it's not that great, and there are a couple times in the movie you see some effect snafus. Basically, this film follows a Japanese guy who is fairly miserable- he has a rough time at work, possibly has insomnia and doesn't seem to have a whole lot of friends or anything. So one day, he's had enough and decides to commit suicide. After he has cut his wrists, he notices that no matter how much he bleeds out, he's not dying. So he tries to speed up the process, and does more extreme stuff to himself that should do that job, but he just won't die. Eventually, he chops himself up to the point he's just a goofy talking head on a coffee table- the end! 

Once you learn that the guy can't kill himself, the movie becomes increasingly predictable, but honestly in conjunction with the other movies in the series, this is a welcomed thing. He Never Dies doesn't take itself too seriously, and is well aware of it's gross-goofy plot and utilizes it well. It almost reminded me of a slightly more bloody version of Death Becomes Her, but much shorter and without any major conflict aside from his undiscovered indestructibility. This one is gross, and potentially triggering, so if you think you would be bothered with scenes of attempted suicide, steer clear of this one. But if you can handle it definitely check this one out- it was kind of fun. 

Android of Notre Dame

The copy of Android of Notre Dame (ギニーピッグ ノートルダムのアンドロイド, Ginī Piggu: Nōtorudamu no Andoroido) I found honestly didn't have the best subtitles, so I found myself lost to what was happening in the story because my Japanese isn't that strong. But it did seem like one I would probably like if I knew what the hell was being said. 

Essentially, from what I could tell, there's this scientist guy who is a little person, and he has a sister that seems like she's got consumption, and he is conducting experiments to try and revive corpses so he can be ready to bring his sister back if she dies- this part of the story seemed more like Frankenstein to me than anything in relation to The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The scientist guy does mention it, but the subtitles didn't actually show what he was saying in regards to it so I have no idea how it fits in with the overall story. Anyway, there's this other guy who is like, blackmailing the scientist guy or something, and he shows up to the scientist guys's house, gets his legs chopped off in a booby trap, and eventually kind of ends up like the guy from He Never Dies where he's essentially a talking head on a table. But then these experiments are done on him for... reasons... And eventually the scientist dude's sister dies, and he revives her, but then she gets mad at him for taking away from being at peace, and then she just dies again, and... that's about it. I think. Again, I'm not super sure. 

This one had a more classical horror feel to it- thanks to the whole mad scientist character and calling back to Frankenstein, as mentioned. I want to see if I can find another copy of this with better subtitles- this one did have some gore, especially in the scenes where he's attempting to revive corpses, but otherwise it seemed more story-driven than a lot of the other movies in the series. 

Mermaid in a Manhole

This is, oddly enough, probably one of my other favorite entries in this series. Mermaid in a Manhole (ギニーピッグ マンホールの中の人魚, Ginī Piggu: Manhōru no Naka no Ningyo) is the only other film in this series that was directed by Hideshi Hino himself. Also, I'm sure you noticed that this graphic and the graphic for Android of Notre Dame both are listed as being "Film #4"- fun fact, there has been some debate as to where this movie falls in the series, whether it's film 4 or 5. For the sake of the blog, I'm making the graphic say it's #4, and counting it via entry as #5. But I digress- moving on. 

This film tells the story of a painter who likes to spend time in the sewers near his house. One day he finds an actual mermaid in the sewer, and decides to sketch her. Soon however, the mermaid starts developing pustules on her body that cause her a lot of pain, so the painter decides to take her to his home and put her in a bathtub so he can finish painting her. The sores continue to spread, however, and soon start rupturing with multi-colored pus, which the artist uses to finish his painting. 

I'm personally a fan of Dr. Pimple Popper, so seeing cysts and whatnot expressed is one of my favorite things ever (yes, I'm one of those people), so I can't say I was personally bothered by the pus too much, but I know for some people that could be a little gross. There's also a pretty decent twist ending in this one, which kind of leaves you guessing- if you're a fan of that kind of thing this is definitely one to check out.  Also, while you do spend most of the film following around the artist and the mermaid, the story also gets punctuated by interactions with the artist's neighbors. They add a little bit of levity and clarity to an otherwise insane story, so I really appreciated the scenes with them. This one is pretty gross for sure, but I, personally, will probably re-watch it this Halloween. 

While watching these movies, I found a fun little making-of documentary that really took away some of the abject horror of some of the grosser scenes, but also really made me appreciate the actual work and artistry that went into making the movies. Maybe if you're curious but a bit on the squeamish side this could be worth checking out instead of the actual movies, but I feel like without seeing the movies first you wouldn't really get a lot of what's going on or being explained and displayed. 

Well guys and ghouls, that does it for the first part of the Adventures with Japanese Horror series. Next I'll be diving into and talking about some of my personal favorite Japanese horror films. These are scary, a little bit gross, but a lot less disgusting as the Guinea Pig series. I hope you found something enjoyable in this blog that is chronicling my slow descent into cinematic madness, and hopefully I've shared some titles with you that you would have never heard about otherwise. 

Take care everyone and I'll see you all again soon! 

Brain Breakers #3- HEAVYWEIGHT Category

What. In the world. Was. I. Thinking.

Well everyone, this is the final category in the Brain Breakers series. I'm going to be honest with you guys- I've re-written this post's opening paragraph no less than 5 times. While last post's films were disturbing to some extent, the films I'll be discussing today have gone beyond that. Obviously- that's how they were placed in the category they are in currently. These films have fully succeeded in breaking my brain; I've lost sleep, felt repulsed and like I was going to throw up, cringed, covered my eyes while saying "No, no, no, no, no" and have audibly asked myself "What the *$&@ am I watching...?! WHAT THE *$&@ AM I WATCHING?!" Obviously, this is something I chose to do, and only have myself to blame. However, having said that I did have to remind myself a couple times why I had decided to do this whole film-viewing series. I will say I definitely achieved my intended goal- quarantine has become a lot more bearable, and I can definitely see the positives in my quiet, non-atrocity filled life. These films kind of put things in perspective in a really weird kind of way....

As mentioned on my Brain Breaker announcement post, I got the idea to do this because I had stumbled upon a video on YouTube discussing videos that can distract us from the scary awful world we all live in currently. All of these films I have only ever  heard of from May on the YouTube channel "Nyx Fears", so I want to give her full credit for even getting me started on this weird cinematic trip. Without her video discussing movies you shouldn't watch under any circumstance I wouldn't be here today telling you guys about these flicks. Again, if you've liked any of the films discussed so far, I would suggest subscribing to Nyx Fears as May is amazing and discusses films that are similar to this in really cool, relatable and analytical ways. May- if you ever see this, you rock!

Moving on. Below I will be discussing three hard-to-watch films; Enter the Void, Antichrist,  and Visitor Q.  As stated in the above disclaimer, there will be a lot of spoilers ahead as I honestly don't see a way to discuss some of the things in these movies and properly convey why exactly they were so shocking and brain-breaking. These movies aren't without artistic merit, though; being shocking does not immediately make a movie "bad"- and honestly I can say that these films all challenged me in different ways as a viewer and will inevitably affect how I will view film moving forward. Now that that's out of the way- let's get to the task at hand. Put on your big kid pants, everyone. This is where it gets real.

Enter the Void is a film directed by Gaspar Noe that follows the story of a man named Oscar who is currently living in Tokyo and is dealing and drugs around the city, as well as using them. In the film Oscar, while delivering some of his wares, is ratted out to the police by a friend he'd had a conflict with. Oscar hides in a nearby bathroom in a night club called "The Void" while the police order him to open to door. During the conflict Oscar is subsequently shot and dies. The film at that point follows his spirit as it moves through the present, his past traumas, and eventually moves to reincarnation.  But one very important thing to note about this film- it's all shot in 1st person point-of-view; so you, the viewer, are seeing literally everything from Oscar's point of view. You witness everything- even when Oscar's past is reflected upon you see everything right behind Oscar's head much like that of an out-of-body experience. So that really makes things beyond disturbing in themselves. 

Now, before I get too into the film itself, let's talk about Tibetan Buddhism and psychedelic drugs for a second. These two things have a huge impact on the story; these topics are explained via exposition in the early scenes of the movie, but I thought for the sake of the blog I would touch on them here as well. The movie actually starts off with Oscar smoking and tripping on a psychedelic drug called D.M.T. D.M.T, or N-Dimethyltryptamine is a hallucinogenic tryptamine drug. It is a white crystalline powder, and sometimes a resin. It is typically smoked and creates a strong psychedelic experience that lasts for short periods of time, typically anywhere between 5 to 50 minutes on average. On the street it's also known as Business Man's Trip for its short tripping duration versus other psychedelics that cause significantly longer psychedelic experiences that can last for hours. D.M.T. is naturally produced by various animals and plants, and it's even speculated that the human pineal gland secretes it, and releases it when a human is dying.

What does any of that have to do with Tibetan Buddhism, though? Well, as Oscar is tripping on D.M.T., his friend Alex comes over and accompanies him to The Void. While the pair are walking to the club, Oscar and Alex talk about a book that Alex had recently loaned to Oscar; The Tibetan Buddhist Book of the Dead. Alex explains that the book details what the Tibetan Buddhists believe happens to a person's soul after they die; first a person's spirit can see things going on around itself as it's out of the body. Then, the spirit will start to relive past traumas and it could revisit the same traumas repeatedly if necessary. Then there's a period where the spirit sees everything around it covered in vibrant, bright lights; this is apparently the phase that most spirits don't want to leave because it's so beautiful. Then the spirit will be drawn to people who are in the act of making love. According to the book a bright yellow light is emitted from the couple's groin area- the light of combining sacral chakras is what draws spirits in. At that point the spirit can choose which couple it wants to be reborn to as a baby, and the spirit will inherit a whole new life.

Those two factors literally are the hinges the movie hangs on, and it is explored and experienced entirely. While other things do happen that also further the story of Oscar's loved ones and how they cope with his death, literally everything Alex explains in the beginning of the film comes to fruition as you, the viewer, travel through this weird afterlife experience.  

This film obviously features death and different opinions of what happens after a person dies, and that alone can raise some hairs. Also, the graphic sex scenes are plentiful in this film. You get to even see the act of love making from the inside: try to use your imagination to pick up what I'm describing. Chances are you know exactly what I'm talking about. Also, I can say without a shred of doubt this film features probably one of the most accurate visuals on what it's like to have a psychedelic trip. That said, one thing I wish I had paid attention to before starting the film: it is LONG. I wish I had looked at the duration before I got sucked into the story, I'll tell you that. It clocks in at a little over 3 hours, so be prepared to be on this ride for a while. In addition to the duration, the entrancing use of psychedelic imagery, first person perspective, haunting memories of past experiences and more- this is a film that definitely makes an impression and will draw anyone in. It's not just a film, but an experience, and it's brave enough to explore a question that every person has asked at some point in their life; what happens when you die?  If you feel brave enough to see this director's interpretation of the answer, I say go for it. The film is well made, well shot, well acted and will keep you drawn in- even through all of it's craziness. But if you'd prefer to skip on having a cinematic out-of-body-experience, this movie isn't one you would enjoy. 

Next up is Lars von Trier's Antichrist. This film follows the story of a man and his wife. One day while the couple is making love, their 2 year old son Nic falls from a window in their home and dies. The wife becomes consumed with grief and anxiety and her husband who is a psychologist attempts to help her cope with the death of their son. The two travel out of town to a secluded cabin in an area called Eden; a location the she had been to previously with her son as a getaway while she worked on her thesis about gynocide. Lovely stuff all around... 

 While in Eden the wife battles with her internal demons, and the husband starts to see strange things in the woods surrounding their cabin. First he sees a deer with a stillborn fetus hanging from its posterior. Next, he sees a fox disembowling itself, and the creature speaks and tells him "Chaos reigns". Eventually, he digs deeper into his wife's activities she had partaken in the last time she was in Eden. He finds that she had slowly slipped into madness, and eventually began to believe that women are born inherently evil. He is angered at his wife's new-found beliefs, but it's too late. The wife eventually snaps, and after forcing herself on him sexually, she knocks her husband into unconsciousness by way of an extremely harsh blow to his groin with a block of wood. And I don't mean a hard hit to his jewels, I mean it's bad enough that she starts to jack him off after he's passed out and he ejaculates blood. Graphic, I know. I told you this post was going to be shocking. 

She then drills a hole in his calf, and attaches a grinding stone to his leg so he can't get away when he regains consciousness. The husband does try to escape, and is able to drag himself into a foxhole in the forest. There he finds a crow that starts jumping around and squawking, giving away his location. The wife hunts him down, and eventually is able to get him back to the cabin. Eventually they get the stone off of his leg, and after a scuffle with his wife, he strangles her to death, burns her and the cabin down, and escapes into the woods. 

Now, I know I gave away some pretty hefty pieces of info for this movie, but there's still so much to is. I have only watched it once, but I really would be willing to bet money that this movie is one that can be watched multiple times and you'll find something new every time. The film is beautiful to watch- is it graphic and gruesome? Yes, 100%. But the director's use of lighting, setting, color, tone, frame rate and more makes for a visually beautiful piece of macabre art. Honestly, I would suggest watching it just for the haunting beauty in some of the scenes. In terms of film being a visual art, von Trier definitely does utilize it well. Since its release in the late 2000's, Antichrist has become notorious for... well, pretty much everything in it. And I totally get why- it's something that hurts to watch from beginning to end. But if you are up for the challenge, I do really recommend giving this one a shot. Speaking of shots, you may need some if you do decide to watch this- make sure you're prepared before hand! 

"Oh shit friends, it's Visitor Q." - May, Nyx Fears. 

This fucking movie.... 

I can say without a shadow of a doubt, this is one of the most disgusting, distrubing and insane movies I've ever seen in my life. Even out of all of the films I've discussed, and after viewing the other two on this list Visitor Q is the crown jewel of the depraved movies I've seen as of late. 

This movie, directed by Takashi Miike, was a direct to DVD release and has since become one of the most notoriously fucked up films ever to be created. And this isn't surprising if you're at all familiar with Miike's other films. I've only ever seen one of this other movies, and that is Audition, which I feel is probably one of the best Japanese horror movies I've seen. And that's from a perspective of having seen classics like Ju On and Ringu- both of which are prolific in terms of being well known on the horror circut. They even eventually were remade into major Hollywood blockbusters calle The Grudge and The Ring. I doubt we will ever see a reboot of Audition however, as it's thorougly creepy, distubring and horrific, and let's be real- lightning doesn't strike twice in the case of horror remakes. 

Having said that, Visitor Q, while it's credited as a "drama/ comedy"- I feel like both of those genres are used loosely. This film features incest, family abuse, drug abuse, prostitution, rape, murder, necrophilia and lactation sex. Yeah. All of that is in there. I have agonized pretty much all night and day for how to write about this movie, but honestly, I don't even know where to start. The movie is beyond fucked. 

The movie follows a family in Japan- the first scene focuses on the family's father having sex with his prostitute daughter. Later, he gets knocked out by a stranger who hits him in the head with a large rock for no apparent reason. Later the stranger joins the family in their home for dinner. The mother of the family gets beaten by her angry son who hits her brutally with a rug beater, leaving huge welts all over her body. The son also destroys the house by throwing objects through walls and windows. Then we learn that the mother is also addicted to heroin, and works as a BDSM prostitute on the side. Later, the father notices his son being bullied mercilessly, and this prompts him to record it on his digital camera as he's a news personality and he wants to make a story about it for syndecation. While all of this is going on, the stranger who hit the father with a rock is living with the family. This is Visitor Q. He doesn't say much, but him living with the family brings about positive changes. And what would those changes be, exactly? Well, let me tell you!!

First he introduces the mother to lactation sex. For those who don't know, that's the act of literally applying pressure to a woman's nipples by way of squeezing or suckling hard enough to produce milk, and the woman derives sexual gratification from it. After making a huge milky mess in the house, the mother starts to display more confidence at home and with her son; even going to far as throwing a knife at his head when he starts to try and abuse her. She misses, but the point has been made. 

He also helps the father! The father convinces his anchorwoman coworker to help him report on the bullying his son is experiencing. One day, the father, the coworker and Visitor Q are all in the father's car, watching and recording the son getting bullied again. The coworker eventually says it's stupid and doesn't want to do it, and the father gets angry, chases her down as she's leaving, rapes her and accidentally kills her. He then loads her body up in his car and takes her back to his house to cut her up and dispose of the body. While he's marking what areas to cut, he decides to have sex with her dead body.  While this is going on, the wife is showing off her new milking skills for Visitor Q inside, and literally turns the floor into a wading pool of breast milk and vaginal squirting on the floor. 

We cut back to the father who is still going to town and while he's having sex her body starts to move into rigor mortis and he gets his penis stuck inside of her. His wife has to help him get out by way of giving him heroin. Isn't this lovely? What a funny comedy, right? 

There's more that happens in this movie, but honestly do you REALLY want to know more?? Honestly I wasn't even sure I was going to talk about all of that because it's just too messed up. But this is why this movie is a hard-mode flick. It's hard to get through, hard to find, hard to stomach-- out of all of the movies I've watched this is the one that really took a lot out of me. I honestly can't say I would recommend this film for anyone for any reason outside of a dare. I would say in terms of Visitor Q I would put this on par with shock videos like 2 Girls One Cup, or Two Kids in a Sandbox but this one is decidedly longer. 

Well, there you have it folks. I've successfully and sufficient shattered my mind and seared my retinas with images that I won't soon be forgetting, and some I really would rather bleach from my memory all together. I'm looking at you, Visitor Q.  All in all, I've honestly kind of enjoyed this whole process- it's been nice to take my focus off of the horror that is COVID-19 and focus on imaginary horrors in its place. I hope that I've also inspired you guys into trying different films that you've either never heard of, or films that challenge you as a viewer. 

"Rubber" Movie Review

Those who know me know I appreciate some pretty strange films. I am a huge fan of terror-bad movies like The Room or Birdemic: Shock and Terror, and I also really like more obscure movies that are brilliant in their weirdness. Rubber is one such film. 

The horror genre has given us some really interesting and strange killers over the years. For example, there's Jason Vorhees, a disfigured mama's boy who keeps coming back from the dead to kill teens. Freddy Kreuger; a vengeful spirit of a man burned alive who dispatches his victims in their dreams. Chuckie from the Child's Play franchise is a killer doll,  and there are plenty of other movies involving weird antagonists. There are killer leprechauns, sharks, snakes, clowns, tomatoes, and even birds to name a few. But Rubber introduces it's audience to a killer tire. Yep, you read that right. The film follows this tire on his journey of gaining sentience, and also gaining telekinetic powers. 

As the tire (credited as Robert) is transitioning from a discarded piece of junk to a psychic executioner, there is a group of spectators on a hillside watching the events unfold through binoculars in almost a Greek chorus fashion. There's also a sheriff who wants the movie to end, so he sets out trying to stop the tire from continuing his rampage. 

In essence, this is a pretty silly movie, but the premise is all pretty much based on having no reason. In fact, the sherriff has a whole speech in the beginning of the movie highlighting that sentiment. This movie is fairly basic in premise and production, but I feel that it doesn't really take anything away from the film. If anything, it just makes it more odd and endearing. The film was shot on a $500,000 budget and was directed by the French Dr. Oizo (aka Quentin Depieux) back in 2010. The film was originally shown at the Cannes Film Festival's Critic's Week and then was distributed on DVD from Magnet Releasing. 

The movie is really hard to explain- but it's more of a film you have to experience to be able to draw your own conclusions, as it's a film that will affect different people in different ways. As a fan of the ridiculous, I really enjoyed this absurd little movie. If you want to try something a little out of the norm or potentially artsy, this film is worth checking out. 

"The Phantom of the Opera" Movie Review

[Originally posted Feb. 5th, 2015]

These days, you can't talk about "The Phantom of the Opera" without anyone thinking of Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical version, or the 1925 classic that features the brilliant Lon Chaney. However, there are multiple different versions of this story on film (I counted 9 on IMDB), but the one I'm going to be writting about today is the 1989 version of "The Phantom of the Opera" starring Jill Schoelen and oddly enough, the horror icon Robert Englund.
"The Phantom of the Opera" (le Fantome de l'Opera) was written by Gaston LaRoux in 1911, and is still considered to be his most well known piece of work. I've read the book and it's probably one of my favorite classics. It's really easy to see the rich and macabre world that LeRoux created. The novel is considered a horror novel, so it makes sense that someone would want to approach the story from a horror point of view.

In 1989, director Dwight H. Little (Halloween 4, Murder at 1600) brought a new version of LeRoux's classic to the silver screen. This movie, while a campy horror movie, does pay a bit more attention to the book than I would have initially given it credit for.

In this version, the movie starts off in 1980's New York, and we're introduced to Christine Day (I guess Daae was too much to pronounce) as she and her friend Meg (played by Molly Shannon in her first on-screen role) try and find a rare and impressive piece of music for Christine to

Christine performing in "Faust" [found on Google Images]

perform for an audition. They find an old opera called "Don Juan Triumphant" written by a mysterious man known as Erik Destler. As she reviews the music, Christine sees blood start streaming from the notes on the page, but it turns out it was all a figment of her imagination. Once she and Meg get to the audition, Christine entrances the audience with the song, but a sand bag breaks free, and hits Christine, throwing her into a flashback that takes her back to 1980(?) England where she is a chorus girl in the London Opera. However, there is a strange and mysterious man who has his eye on her. And he ends up taking a swift and harsh revenge on the man who caused the accident, as it apparently happened in the past too. Turns out this mysterious man is Erik Destler, a musical genius who sold his soul to the Devil (who is a little person. I guess if Alanis Morrissette can play God the sky's the limit) in order to have his music be loved forever. But in return Erik can never be loved as his music will be, and is horribly disfigured. From that point, the story pretty much follows the book fairly closely, save for some rather cheesy and predictable killing scenes. However, I won't get too in depth with the ending. Why? Because honestly I feel this movie is worth checking out.

While there are some major flaws with this movie, it is pretty entertaining. The movie does play on Robert Englund's horror-star status through his willingness to wear a butt load of makeup, as well as deliver typical one-liners before killing someone, Englund really does a pretty good job

The Phantom and Carlotta [found on Google Images]

portraying the Phantom. While he is a fairly sympathetic character, he ultimately is a creepy psycho stalker. This is generally overlooked in the musical as Destler is portrayed as being handsome despite his disfigurement. Hell, Webber even ran with the whole Christine/Phantom romantic fangasm and made a sequel musical called "Love Never Dies". Webber really should have left well enough alone with that one, but that's another review... Anyway, as I was saying is Englund, while sympathetic, totally had no problem diving into that creepy stalker-vibe of the character, which I'm sure has something to do with his time as one of the most famous and recognizable dream stalkers of all time. Also, while the movie definitely utilizes the acting and look that made Freddy famous, they also utilized other horror icon-type things with this character's look and personality. While I do appreciate their version of this character, I can't help but wonder if maybe Englund could have added some depth to Destler? How much of his performance was him, and how much was what everyone expected him to do? It's a mystery... The rest of the cast is fairly forgettable, but the music, sets and costumes make up for that. Another little factoid- this movie was supposed to have a sequel, so it ends on a bit of a cliffhanger, but it wasn't as big of a success as the production company had hoped for, so the sequel was never made. Englund had been approached about it in the past and said that the sequel was actually going to be better than the original, but unfortunately we will never know if his assessment is right or wrong.

Ultimately, while the film is far from perfect, and not as highly regarded as the musical and the silent film are, it's still a really entertaining b-movie that is well worth checking out if you want to see Freddy Kruger in a much classier way.