Brain Breakers #2- MIDDLEWEIGHT Category

Things are getting fun now, everyone...!

Alright, so in this newest installment of the Brain Breakers film-viewing series we're diving into the Middleweight category. The films featured here are of a higher quality than the films we explored in the Lightweight category; they have more cinematic and critical merit but also have clout in terms of their reputations. These films, while some are more known than others, are worth taking note of for various reasons, be it the plot, their contribution to cinema as an art form or their ability to challenge the viewer to think outside the box in terms of what is considered humorous, deep, or riviting. Also, they're pretty fun to show to friends to see their reactions- you know; for kicks. Now, on to the films!

First on this list is probably the more well-known film in this category and that is David Lynch's surreal horror classic Eraserhead. Now, in choosing the films in this category I was looking for films that could evoke a certain reaction from the viewer, and that would be one of shock, disgust, possibly fear and a feeling of "...wtf?"  And while Eraserhead fits ALL of those criteria I would say that this film is honestly so much more than all of that. For anyone who knows anything about film and film history, they can tell you that this flick has influenced cinema in some really impressive ways and honestly deserves a blog all on it's own just to cover everything. I didn't want to go in too deep on all of that in this blog, however, because it would literally dominate the entire post and leave little room to discuss the other two films. Just know going into this blog that Eraserhead has a lot of history and information attached to it. Moving on.

The story follows Henry (Jack Nance), a quiet man who one day unexpectedly finds himself thrown into marriage and fatherhood. That's pretty exciting, right? Wrong-o, my friends. The movie starts off with Henry going to visit his sweetheart Mary, who he hasn't seen in a while. After having an incredibly awkward and horrific dinner with his baby-mama's family (bleeding, moving, miniature

Henry spending time with his... baby.

poultry anyone?), and an even more uncomfortable interrogation from Mary's mother we learn that Henry and Mary had been intimate at some point in the past, thus blessing them with a baby. However, we also learn that the baby is "premature" according to Mary's mother, while Mary; who is clearly distressed- is quick to say that doctors aren't sure what's "wrong" with the baby. Mary's mother states that the two must be married immediately, and that night Mary and the baby spend the night at Henry's tiny apartment.

We learn quickly that there is  indeed something very wrong with the baby- it's deformed, resembling some form of an animal. It refuses to eat and it cries incessantly which leads Mary to have a mental breakdown and she leaves the baby in the care of its father.

Now, that's probably the clearest I can describe the plot, but that is leaving a LOT out. It doesn't cover much of what transpires in the film. But let's be real- this is a David Lynch movie; there's ALWAYS a lot going on. If you're not aware of who David Lynch is or his directing style he's notorious for using strange imagery and abstract visuals or intensely odd acting to lead his films forward all of which Eraserhead is LOADED with. I haven't discussed the Man in the Planet, The Girl Who Lives Behind The Radiator, the very strong male-potency imagery and the giant worms/sperm that make appearances through the rest of the movie. Seriously- this flick is wild and very unsettling in the things you will see. I really feel like I'm rushing this part of the blog, but really there's no way to describe much of what this movie covers without taking up a huge chunk of space- this is something that really should be witnessed so you can draw your own conclusions. This is a film that will really make you think while it's creeping you out completely- if that sounds like something you want to challenge yourself with, Honey, this is a flick for you.

Next on our list is an animated film known as Felidae which is based on a book of the same name. This film comes from Germany, and is to date one of the most expensive animated films to be made there. This film is probably the most deceptive movie in this category because the animation is really well done and resembles something that could have easily been put out by the likes of animation studios like Ambelin or Warner Brothers in terms of artistic style. An animated movie featuring talking animals; kitty cats in particular? How can that be deceptive? My response: heh, lol.

Felidae is a movie that is narrated by the main character, Francis, a cat who is moving into a new neighborhood with his owner. Upon arriving in his new home, Francis goes exploring around the house and finds his way outside. There he sees a rough-looking cat who is intently looking at something in the back yard. As he approaches the strange cat, Francis notices what the other is checking out- there is a third cat on the lawn; however this one is lying dead, its throat clearly slashed. We're only a few minutes into this movie and we've already got gruesome animated-cat murder on our hands! Buckle up, fam- this ride is about to get bumpy.  As more and more cats turn up brutally murdered in the neighborhood it's up to Francis to figure out what connects all of the murders in time to save lives before the murderer can strike again.

Francis discussing clues with a lead.

Felidae, despite being an animated movie about cats, is actually a really gritty, brutal and gruesome who-done-it style slasher mystery. While it is highly upsetting in terms of gore on the screen, the story remains intriguing and while there are some odd dream sequences that can be rather horrific and off-putting at times, this movie is a really good  murder mystery. Francis the cat, as you learn, is actually incredibly perceptive and has an eye for solving crimes. He's basically what the Great Mouse Detective wishes he could be.

This movie never got a release in the US- possibly due to it's graphic scenes of murder, harm to animated animals, sex, ritualistic cult suicide and animal vivisection. Yes- all of those things are in this film. However, the film, which was released in 1994, was distributed on VHS and Laserdisc; the latter of which featured an English dub, which was ripped and eventually found its way onto YouTube. As of right now this is the only place (at least that I'm aware of) that you can find the film in it's English-dubbed entirety. Obviously, this movie comes with a disclaimer- if you have a hard time watching those ASPCA commercials, this movie is definitely going to jack you up. Having said that, I myself am an animal lover, and while the scenes of horrible things happening to animated cats IS highly disturbing and hard to watch it really does add to the story; it makes solving the crime more urgent and imperative- something that off-screen death could never accomplish. And while it is really hard to see that stuff, it totally drags you into this twisted story and will leave a lasting impression on you for better or worse. Honestly, if you think you can stomach it, I highly recommend this film, especially if you like (literal) cat-and-mouse crime stories and race-against-the-clock mystery.

Okay guys- time to lighten this list up a tiny bit. The last movie in the Middleweight category is a movie that I only recently learned about (thanks again, May from Nyx Fears!) and I effing LOVE IT. It's a dark horror-comedy called The Greasy Strangler and it is, as of right now, one of the most quirky, awkward, gross and hilarious movies I've seen in a long time. The way I would describe this movie would be if Taika Waititi's Eagle vs. Shark had a love child with Napoleon Dynamite, and that child grew up on a steady diet of cheesy crime shows, porn and oil. Let's dig in, shall we?

Big Ronnie and Big Braydon leading
a disco tour. 

The Greasy Strangler follows father Big Ronnie and his son Big Braydon. Braydon and Ronnie live together and have a disco tour that Big Ronnie leads. One day after a tour, Braydon meets a woman by the name of Janet. The two quickly start a relationship that leads to Ronnie getting jealous of the pair. Ronnie, we learn, has a horrible secret- he's a serial killer who is called The Greasy Strangler. Before he commits a murder he covers himself with grease and then goes on the prowl for his victims.

As the story progresses, both father and son become fond of Janet, and they eventually compete with one another over her.

The plot on it's own sounds really odd, but I'll tell you, when you factor in the ridiculously strange soundtrack, the quirky humor, the ridiculous sex scenes and over the top full frontal nudity (I'm honestly not sure if the genitalia is fake or not...), you have all of the ingredients for an extremely weird dark comedy that will leave you asking "...seriously, what the hell did I just watch...?" I don't want to give away too much of the story, gags, kills or anything because they really are good for a laugh if dark comedy is your thing. Seriously- it's so awkward it's worth watching just to see how weird it gets. And it gets weird- it's beautifully weird and cringy and I love it.



Well friends, that concludes this portion of the Brain Breaker series. Next up is the really concerning titles. We're moving into the Heavyweight category and I'm going to be real- I'm a little nervous as to what I'm getting myself into on this one, fam. But I've come this far- there's no going back now.

As I mentioned in the previous entry, I did have to make some substitutions for films in this category. I couldn't find Pink Flamingos anywhere, so that will be substituted with a film called Into the Void. However, a A BIG thank you needs to go out to a friend of mine who found a copy of Visitor Q-  I almost had to substitute that one out, which made me sad because I hear this one is especially brutal but the day was saved. Thank you, movie friend! Your contribution is highly appreciated- you know who you are! The other film I'll be watching is Antichrist; from what I understand this one is gonna leave a mark.

Anyway, that's all for now. Thank you all so much for reading and I'll see you on the other side of this mental-torture. Pray for me.

Brain Breakers- #1- LIGHTWEIGHT movies

Oh boy, that was fun.

Well everyone, I've officially finished the first round of films in the Brain Breaker Series and I will say that these films are definitely a nice numbing agent to aid the mental beating I'm going to be taking thought all of this. Way to start things off on the right foot!

As mentioned in my previous post, I'm splitting all of the films I'm watching; 9 in all- into 3 categories in terms of viewing-harshness. They're broken down into Lightweight, Middleweight and Heavyweight, and as the title of this entry suggests, I just wrapped up the Lightweight category. The movies I lumped into this category are notorious for being low budget, weird, and hilarious in the fact that they are so bad. All of these films have been talked about at length from many other film critics, but they still are pretty interesting and really should be watched at some point- especially if you love so-bad-they're-good movies. Now, I will do my best to not give up any spoilers, but honestly, even if I were to divulge the entire plot of any of these films it wouldn't ruin any bit of the ridiculousness they feature.

Alright-let's get this show started!

 The first on the list was Manos: The Hands of Fate. This film has been hilariously riffed by the likes of MST3K and RiffTrax, and for VERY good reason. Of all of the films I watched in this group it is by far the worst. Having said that, it's still worth checking out.

The film follows a very white bread family who gets lost on a random road, and they find their way to a secluded mansion that is guarded by a pervy gimp named Torgo, who announces that he guards the establishment while "The Master" is away. Eventually you find out that "The Master" is a mustachioed cult leader who has far too many wives, and he wants to punish Torgo and the family for happening upon his pad by way of summoning the vengence of Manos, their weird god-deity-demon-thing.


This film is a train-wreck from start to finish. The dialog in the film is clearly dubbed (and not well), scenes are slow and drag on, you can see a clapper board at one point- it's a good study into what a film should NOT be. But at the same time, the fact that this movie is so off-the-wall bad has cemented it in cinematic history. The film has become a cult classic thanks to the laughable dialog, plot, and cinematic choices the director made.

The main family, consisting of the husband/father Michael, the wife/mother Margaret and the annoyingly useless plot-device daughter Debbie are the literal worst. Michael is basically a walking stereotype for alpha-male WASPs everywhere. This dude refuses to get directions, gets his family lost, and then essentially bullies Torgo into letting his family crash at a place that is in no way a motel, B&B or anything similar, and that's just in the first few scenes of the movie; he never gets any better through the rest of this mess. Margaret is also the worst because she lets her husband push her around through everything when she is clearly the closest thing this movie has in terms of a voice of reason. Debbie, as mentioned is just a plot device. She wanders off randomly which leads her family to have to try and find her, thus getting them further embroiled in all of the wacky cult shenanigans they are trying to stay out of. The whole plot around The Master is one of mystery to me- and by "mystery" I mean I either missed his back story while watching the film or they just decided he didn't need much in way of character development. He's the boogie-man of the film though they try REALLY hard to make the "god" Manos the big baddie but honestly, none of the villains in the movie are all that menacing. The closest thing to menacing in the movie is a portrait of The Master and his doberman that the film really likes to focus on. And I mean there is a good chunk of the movie where the camera rests on the picture while the characters are having a conversation in the background.

The Master's many wives are also ridiculous. You find out that they are suspended in some kind of living-death state between cult rituals, and when all of the wives wake up, literally the first thing they do is sit around a fire and bicker with each other about what to do with the family while The Master just sits off to the side looking like he is a whipped husband wishing he were anywhere else but there. Eventually the wives get into what appears to be a choreographed cat fight scene and it was honestly my favorite part of the movie.

And those things don't even touch on a majority of the nuttiness "Manos" has to offer. Seriously, it's a dumb flick from start to finish, but is worth watching if for no other reason than seeing a cult movie classic.

Next on the list is "Death Bed: The Bed That Eats". This film was made in 1977 and has a very interesting history. The film was written, produced and directed by a guy by the name of George Barry and was the only film he ever made. When the film was completed, Barry naturally wanted to release it theatrically, but was unable to find anyone willing to do that. Later on, there was a company interested in distributing the film on VHS; a tape was made, but the distributor wanted Barry to put ending credits on the film before it could be released. Ultimately, Barry had to decline because he couldn't afford the $3,000 it would have taken to add credits, so the tape was returned to him. However, somehow a pirated copy of the VHS was released in the United Kingdom and Barry had literally no clue that had happened. Over time, the VHS found its way to New Zealand, Spain, and Australia as well.

Barry remained in the dark about all of this until 2001 when he stumbled on a forum post about the film that had been written by a French film journalist. Eventually the film did receive a theatrical release in 2003, and was put on DVD the same year. And as of 2013 it was even released on Blu-ray.

The film follows multiple people over the span of a few different decades (maybe even centuries- I'm not sure) and their encounters with a demonic bed that, you guessed it, eats people. The movie has a narrator- the ghost of one of the bed's victims, who is now trapped behind a painting in the room in which the bed is kept. Why is he trapped there? Not even he knows. What's the ghost's name? Not a clue- he's only credited as "The Artist"- so we'll just call him Artie for the sake of the blog. Anyway, we learn through Artie's narration that the bed itself was created by a wind demon who wanted to seduce some random human girl for... reasons. So apparently in the middle of their romantic trist, the girl died so the demon cried tears of blood that were absorbed by the bed, thus bringing it to life, and ever since then the bed is insatiably hungry, so it eats whoever lies in it. That's it- that's basically the whole story. Granted, you don't find out any of the bed's back story until at least 30 minutes into the movie. And all of it is through Artie's delightfully British narration. All. Of. It. Even a majority of dialog from the characters that are in a scene are either composed of internal monolog or is spoken when you can't actually see the character's mouth; either their head will be turned so you can't see their mouth move, or they just dub it over the actor as their delivering their lines but sometimes it doesn't sync up properly.

This film was wild- wildly confusing but also wildly hilarious! The movie breaks down each portion of the film into meals- like the beginning of the film is called "Breakfast", then there's of course "Lunch" and "Dinner" and let me tell you- the further into the "feast" you get, the more insane the story becomes. By the time I got got "The Just Desserts" I was dying of laughter. This flick is definitely worth checking out. Out of all of the movies in this group, this was by far my favorite and the one I would suggest the most. I recommend all of them, but if you were to only watch one, hopefully this is it.

And finally I watched a modern so-bad-it's-good classic, Neil Breen's "Double Down".  Originally I had planned to do the seminal Breen classic "Fateful Findings", but his movies are notoriously hard to find and acquire- luckily I found "Double Down" in its place.

Now, for those of you who don't know who Neil Breen is he is an architect and prior real estate agent turned indie film maker who has been getting a lot of attention on the internet over the past few years due to his insanely weird and hard to follow movies.

Breen has been compared to the likes of other so-bad-they're-good film directors like Tommy Wisseau, the creator of the infamous film "The Room" (another movie you should definitely check out). Wisseau has been called the Orson Wells of bad movies; and if Wisseau is Orson Wells, Breen is definitely the David Lynch of bad movies- without a doubt in my mind. When interviewed about his films and a lot of the really weird, random, and confusing things featured in all of them, Breen loves to say that things in his films are "metaphors" that are up to the viewers to decide what they mean. And he literally says this about all of his films. And apparently all of his films (at least the ones that I've seen) are some really confusing and random metaphors! "Double Down" is no exception.

The movie stars Breen himself as... You know what, I don't even remember his character's name. Honestly, I think his character's name is only mentioned maybe a maximum number of 3 times in the film, and I feel like that's being generous. So yeah- it doesn't matter what his character's name is. All you need to know is he is a super amazing computer-hacking, government-overturning, philanthropic military-trained super mercenary who is literally the best at everything he does ever, yet he completely fails at everything in the movie. Seriously- all he does is have conversations with the apparent ghosts of his parents and fiance while running through the desert screaming about who knows what. He lives in his car out in the desert and he lives off of canned tuna. Seriously- that's all he eats and he has the empty cans to prove it. He uses old satellite dishes, old broken laptops and clamshell phones to create some kind of super weapon that kills people with some sort of invisible barrier, and he carries super deadly powder that he uses to kill fish in a lake and at one point he rubs this super deadly powder on a "target" and tells the viewers of the film that the powder "kills on contact" and his victim "will be dead in 5 minutes". Seriously- that's a line in the movie. And then the only real mission he gets in the film he epically fails at- words cannot fully describe what is witnessed in this dumpster fire.

There is so much going on in this movie, yet in looking back at it nothing actually happened. And even though nothing happened, I have SO many questions about the things featured in this movie. Honestly, even if I took the time to type out every question I have about this movie in this blog, I don't think I would ever run out of questions. The questions would breed more questions and eventually I would have a full blown W.T.F. hydra that there would be no way to slay.


In conclusion, these films were bad, but they were definitely the sweet numbing agent my mind will need as we move into the next category. The films featured in this post are harmless in terms of weirdness. All of these films are written, produced and directed by each of their respective creators, and they are clearly something that could be considered passion projects to those who made them. But even though the creators were definitely passionate about their feature films, clearly their intention didn't quite hit the level of fruition other movies have experienced. And really the cause behind that could is probably varied but ultimately, there's a lot of credit due to each of these directors because they had a dream and made it happen; and that's something that I think we can all appreciate.

Well fam, that's all for this round. I'll see you again soon with more brain-breaking films.

Guess Who's Back

Well… Long time no see everyone. 

     Thanks to our good friend the ‘Rona I, like everyone else on the planet, am hunkering down 
in my apartment the best I can to avoid getting sick or being around other people, and I am 
running out of things to do. Of course I’m active on social media- ridiculously active, to be 
honest; and I’m doing other things to stay busy like tidying and cleaning, crafting face masks, 
and all that jazz. But despite all of that I’m finding myself further and further in the throws of 
boredom and abject dread because of the state of the world. So what better way to distract 
myself from everything awfulin life than watch movies that are awful in their own special 
ways? 

     I came up with the idea from watching YouTube- I stumbled on to a channel called “Nyx 
Fears” that features a video entitled “movies no one should ever watch under any 
circumstances”. I have since fallen in love with this channel as well as May, the wonderful 
vlogger who shares all sorts of cool things with her viewers and highly recommend it to other 
people who dig different types of cinema and are interested in learning about some flicks 
that are definitely outside the box. Follow this link to her channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/BrutalMovieReview

So, since I was feeling inspired by this video, and curious about some of the titles that are discussed, and I was intrigued by the thought of distracting myself from everything awful going on in the world right now with things that are either so bad they’re good, strange and unusual, or straight up disturbing that it will break me on such a level that the world seems a lot less horrible. So that’s what I’m going to be focusing on- movies that will distract myself and hopefully others from our current reality. The upcoming series will be called “Brain Breakers” and I’ve split up the films I’ll be watching into 3 categories named after the unified weight classes in MMA because let’s face it- after this my mind will have taken a beating. 

Before I list the classes and the intended movies that I’ll be viewing, just know that these 
could change depending on film availability. Thanks to the Internet most, if not all, should be 
easy enough to procure, but the more heavy and obscure we get, the harder it will be to 
guarantee that I’ll be able to find some of them. Now, on to the movie list!

Class 1: Lightweight- 
Movies in this category will be on the lighter-side of viewing (like you couldn’t already tell). 
These films will be notoriously cheesy, low-budget gems that have been discussed at length 
from other critics and film junkies. I’m playing it safe in this category, folks. The movies I have 
planned for this weight class are: 

Class 2: Middleweight- 
These films are a little more obscure, and a lot more graphic and disturbing.
This is where the rubber hits the road, my friends. 

Class 3: Heavyweight- 
Okay, this is where I will be treading into really uncomfortable and brain-breaking territory. 
The films that I (currently) have planned have a reputation for being very alarming. In talking
about these films, I honestly don’t expect any of you to follow me down this rabbit hole as it’s 
going to get messy. These films are taboo for a reason, after all. 

As I mentioned before, some of these titles; especially the ones in the Heavyweight 
category could change- I do have a list of alternate films to pop into their places if I can’t find a 
copy of them anywhere. Also, just for the sake of playing it safe NONE of these films are 
family friendly for multiple reasons, so don't think your 8 year old can join you in watching 
"Felidae" or any of these flicks, assuming you get curious and want to see what all the fuss is 
about.

Anyway, having said all of that, be expecting reviews from the Lightweight class within the 
next week or so. Let’s get broken, fellas!