A Summer of "...Meh" Movies

2016 has had a lot of ups and downs as far as many things are concerned; the 2016 presidential election, Brexit has the UK and the EU all mixed up, the Cubs won the world series- the world as we know it is turning upside down.  Keep in mind, that's not counting all of the "crazy" life has had in store for all of us on a personal level, as life tends to do. But despite all of the nuttiness that has been surrounding us in our world, none of it seemed to permeate the cinemas during the summer season. 

Granted, there were a whole lot of movies that I didn't get to see for one reason or another (didn't have time, the local theater didn't show certain films, I didn't have it in the budget, I just didn't care, etc.) but what I have seen has been a little underwhelming, to say the least. There were a few I liked, a few I absolutely hated and others I just didn't really care about one way or another. So, instead of doing individual movie reviews for these flicks that I did see, I'm going to write up little mini-reviews to cover them. Partially so I can just get back to my normal blogging schedule as soon as possible, but also because I had previously attempted to write a full review for some of these stinkers but couldn't because they were so bland. There are literally only so many mediocre reviews I can do, people; give me a break.

So, let's get started. 

The live-action Disney remake/reboot nobody asked for. I originally saw this movie back in August when it came out, and I hit a massive case of writer's block. The movie itself wasn't bad; the cinematography was nice, the animation was good, the acting was decent, and the chill Indie soundtrack was a little bit of a different choice considering the content of the film but it wasn't bad. But that's where it ends for me. This film has very little to do with the original aside from having a boy named Pete and a dragon named Elliot. The original took place in the 1900's and followed an orphan boy and his sometimes invisible dragon named Elliot as they travel from place to place to escape Pete's adopted and abusive hillbilly family. They arrive in a small fishing town called Passamaquoddy and eventually find a home with a lighthouse keeper and his daughter after a series of antics get them into some trouble among the townsfolk. There's also a traveling show-medicine man who comes into town and tries to catch Elliot to make a magic elixir out of him but that's really the worst of it. At the end of the movie, now that Pete has a family of his own he tells Elliot that he needs to go find another kid in trouble and help them out, and the two part ways. The original was a musical full of old-timey humor and storytelling and was chock-full of Disney whimsy. The 2016 version didn't have any of that. This Pete's Dragon takes place in the late 1970's, early 1980's and follows Pete, a boy who is left to fend for himself in the forest  after his parents die in a car crash. He meets Elliot the dragon by chance, and the two live together for years alone in the woods before anyone finds Pete. When he is found, it's by a forest ranger played by Bryce Dallas Howard, and she takes Pete to the hospital for treatment, and eventually to her home. Elliot is sad that Pete is gone, the two try finding one another, but Elliot gets captured by Howard's boyfriend's brother because "reasons." Eventually Elliot is freed, Pete gets a family, and goes to see Elliot up in the mountains from time to time. Oh, and the other dragons Elliot lives with because apparently that's a thing.  Really the movie itself is pretty harmless, but it wasn't anything I would ever watch again as it was predictable from beginning to end and honestly had a really slow pace. It was decent, but unless you or your family are fans of straight forward drama, it's one that you could probably skip and not miss anything. 

I used to really enjoy the X-Men movies. And when I say "X-Men movies" I'm referring to the first two in the franchise because they were the only actual good ones. After X-Men: The Last Stand things just went to hell in a hand basket for Xavier and his uncanny X-Men, cinematically speaking, of course. After the train wreck that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine Fox has been trying really hard to get these films back to being successful again, especially with the success of other MCU giants like The Avengers and all of their subsequent solo-films, Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man and the highly anticipated Doctor Strange. They had pretty good success with X-Men: First Class, but things have been slipping again, thanks to warped continuity between all of the films and just mediocre stories to tell. Apocalypse is no different. The film was long and drawn out, fairly predictable, still had conflicting continuity, and there was just no real threat or high stakes once the climax of the film finally rolled around. The one thing I enjoyed the most about the film was the introduction of Quicksilver (played by Evan Peters) because it was done in a humorous and clever way but really, that was it. Unfortunately one clever scene won't save a whole movie and that, for me, was the case with this film. Fox had hit with February's Deadpool- they should probably start taking notes on their success there and try a little harder next time.

While X-Men: Apocalypse just wasn't good, this movie was downright painful. The first Alice movie Tim Burton released back in 2010 had a lukewarm reception due to its confusing continuity (Is is a remake? A sequel? A reboot? What the actual hell is it?) but it gained moderate success as a cult classic among fans of the director's work, the style of animation used, the artistic direction the film took, fans of the original work of literature and, let's face it, Johnny Depp. While the first film was moderately confusing as to where it fell into contrast with the original book and Disney film, Through the Looking Glass had absolutely nothing to do with either the original Disney film, the previous film by Burton, or the original book. Hell, this movie isn't even directed by Burton, which I feel helps because I would literally have to drop him like a hot rock after this clusterfluff, but it also hurts the movie because it no longer has the draw of being a "Tim Burton" film to save it. In this film, the Mad Hatter (a.k.a. the film's cash cow) is even "madder" than normal because he believes his long-considered dead family is still alive and won't accept the fact that they are gone, and apparently that is literally killing him. Alice, being his best friend, goes to see Time (played by Sasha Baron Cohen) and steals his Chronosphere and travels through time to try and help the Hatter's family survive, but as with any time-travel plot she inadvertently exacerbates things and ends up causing more damage than not and almost destroys Time and actual time all together. All of the performances in this film were beyond forced, the story offered nothing new or original, and this is the first Johnny Depp performance that I can honestly say I thoroughly despised. I haven't been really impressed with a lot of his recent work with Disney (I'm looking at you Pirates of the Caribbean and The Lone Ranger) and this film really took the cake with it's awfulness. In short, both this film and franchise have seemed to have lost their muchness. 

This film along with Suicide Squad was one of the most talked about and hyped films of the summer season, although not for the same reasons. Once the trailer for this film dropped there was instant hatred from people all over the interwebs; mainly because people are finally getting sick of classic films being shamelessly rebooted, and said shameless reboots being shamelessly redone to meet and address modern concerns; in this case, the feminist movement. Arguments ranged from  misogynistic, to apathy, and all the way to feminists calling it out for trying to make a profit over an issue that is way bigger than putting butts in seats. And just like Suicide Squad, Ghostbusters had a mediocre reception. While the Ghostbusters are all played by some of the hottest and most hilarious female comedians currently, a lot of the humor was still sub-par. I can't help but feel that a lot of the humor was watered down compared to how it could have been if the script was a bit different as they seemed to play it safe (probably because of the inst-hate they generated). Having said that, I feel that it was a missed opportunity to not incorporate any or much improvisation or deviation from said script that these ladies could have come up with. I could be wrong, but that's how it came across to me. I did enjoy all of the women, however, and I also enjoyed seeing Chris Hemsworth in a comedic role. One thing I will gripe about though, is I was really hoping to see Melissa McCarthy break away from her typical typecasted roles that she seems to be saddled with in literally every single one of her movies. I knew she was still going to be comedic, of course, but I was hoping that if she played a scientist of sorts she wouldn't come across as the loud-mouth nut that she has played in every movie since Bridesmaids, but while she was more scientific and brainy, it wasn't enough to say it was different from her other roles. Luckily, with Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon in the mix it wasn't that big of an issue, but it's a gripe of mine none the less. Ultimately the movie itself wasn't nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be, and it wasn't nearly as good as the studios were hoping it would be. 

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children is based off of a book series of the same name. It tells the story of Jake, a teen boy who is having a hard time fitting in with others his age and his mother and father don't understand him. The only person he feels any connection with is his grandfather, but Jake has lost contact with him in recent years because of his grandfather's demensia. After Jake's grandfather is horrifically killed by a creature only Jake can see, he decides to take a trip to Wales to find an orphanage that his grandfather lived at for a time, and to meet Miss Peregrine, the woman who looks after all of the children in the home. Soon Jake discovers a world of wonder and magic when he meets Miss Peregrine and the children in her care who all have "peculiarities". However, something evil is trying to eliminate everyone at the home and it's up to Jake to save the day. I don't want to give away too much more of the story line as it really was kind of interesting to see and learn about. I wish more time had been devoted to the different children and their personal histories, but there is just not enough time in a movie to do that, but they did really well with what they had. I feel that while Burton definitely sticks to his typical tropes in this movie (sad protagonist who nobody understands), as well as his dark color schemes, he also returned to some of the things that made his earlier movies so enjoyable, like quirky humor, creating interesting characters and worlds, and having whimsy amidst the darkness. There was even good old fashioned stop-motion animation along with CGI- I was really impressed with that, may I say. While a lot of his movies have become popular fodder for Hot Topic sales, I feel this one is different from the rest. It's not his most memorable film, but it's definitely worth checking out. 

This is one movie I was super stoked to see. Originally, the local theater didn't get this movie in, and I was afraid since the theater is run by conservative people and operates in a conservative town, a movie like Sausage Party wasn't going to come at all. But luckily it did, and man was I not disappointed. This movie follows Frank, a plucky hot dog (played by Seth Rogen) who dreams about the day he'll be "chosen" by the gods (a.k.a. shoppers) and be taken to the Great Beyond (a.k.a. be bought and taken home), and it's believed that once he gets to the Great Beyond, he'll be able to be "5 inches deep" in his hot dog bun love interest Brenda (Kristen Wiig). But soon Frank learns the truth about what happens to food once it leaves the grocery store so he goes on a quest to save all food items for horrible and painful deaths at the hands of humans. This movie was not only loaded with a lot of super hilarious food puns, but it was also surprisingly smart for how it took on the main topic of the film- religion. I had no idea that this movie would be all about theology but I was really impressed with how they handled it. The voice acting was on point, the jokes and humor were great, there were a lot of surprises and twists that I thought were awesome, and the animation was really good considering the budget for the movie. Sausage Party  was made on a budget of $19,000,000 which is pretty small compared to many mainstream animated films. Even Foodfight, the literal worst animated movie ever made was created with a budget of $65,000,000. Let's compare the two, shall we? 

The images on the top are all screen shots from Sausage Party while the ones on the bottom are from Foodfight- you don't have to be an expert to figure out which film had the better animation

In conclusion, there seemed to have been more mediocre movies this summer than there were good ones. Again, I wasn't able to catch every movie in theaters but I'm hoping my Netflix account will help me be able to catch up on what I missed. Of course, these are all just my opinions of these movies, and I do have a bias when it comes to what makes a movie good or not. I'm still one of those weirdos who believes that a movie isn't just for entertainment, it's a piece of art that can have a cultural impact on its audience, but I am probably in the minority on that view. Be that as it may, summer movies have always been all about blowing box office records and getting lots and lots of money, so I don't expect to see any legitimately "good" movies during a summer run. Not that they don't exist, but let's face it- they're few and far between. 

But now we're creeping into fall and Oscar season, so there are bound to be more thought provoking films coming out soon that should be able to make a mark on the audience. Also, this is the time of year we'll see the contenders of animation pulling out all of the stops in order to clinch a "Best Animated Movie" award, and there have already been some great animated films out this year so it'll be interesting to see where things go. 

"Kubo and the Two Strings" Movie Review

"If you must blink, do it now." 

These are the words that greet the audience before the movie even begins and let me tell you; you should follow that advice. 

Kubo and the Two Strings is the newest stop-motion animation film from Laika; the same powerhouse studio that has created other animated classics such as Coraline,  ParaNorman, and The Boxtrolls. All films have been critical successes, and Kubo is joining their ranks as the most ambitious film Laika has created to date. 

Kubo's mother defends her son with her shamisen.
[Found on Google Images]

The story follows Kubo, the son of a famous samurai and a loving mother who has taught him how to use magic. After tragedy befalls his home and loved ones, Kubo must go on a journey with companions Monkey and the cursed samurai Beetle to find his deceased father's armor, as it's the only thing that can protect him from vengeful spirits who are bent on his destruction. 

I honestly don't even know where to start with this film; so I'll start by saying this is the most beautifully animated movie I have seen to date. I've always been a huge fan of stop motion animation- from watching The California Raisins animated movie as a child (yes, that was a thing), to The Nightmare Before Christmas, Chicken Run, all of the Rankin/Bass holiday specials, James and the Giant Peach- and the fascination has carried on into adulthood. I loved The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Max and Mary and even movies like Monkeybone which are pretty bad, but still impressive to see with their use of stop-motion. 

Kubo and the Moon King
[Found on Google Images]

When Laika's first film Coraline came out in 2009, I was immediately smitten with not only the story telling and the top-notch voice acting, but the world and characters that were created were astounding. And with every Laika film, the characters and worlds just keep getting better and better. The art in Kubo is very stylized as it draws a lot of inspiration from traditional Japanese art. The animation in this film was probably some of the smoothest stop-motion animation I've seen to date. I was so lost in the art on screen that I kept forgetting that what I was seeing was all done by hand. Each of the characters' movements and facial features were absolutely spot on with the dialog and if you consider the fact that each character must have had hundreds if not thousands of different faces that had to be removed, applied, shaped to fit the emotion and lines- it's just astounding to think of. In every scene I was just blown away but the amount of attention to detail that has become a part of Laika films, and has set them apart from all other animation studios. 

Monkey, Beetle and Kubo
[Found on Google Images]

The voice cast also was impressive- Charlize Theron who plays Monkey was amazing; she added not only a hard, cold and concise attitude for this character but there was so much power, strength and love in her performace as well. Matthew McConaughey was hugely entertaining as Beetle, as he has a bad case of amnesia and is constantly adding humor to his scenes. Art Parkinson (Kubo) gave a great performance, as to be expected from anyone working on Game of Thrones. There are also some big names in the supporting cast, like George Takei, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as a few of the colorful villagers, and Ralph Fiennes as The Moon King.

While the art is basically flawless and attentive to Japanese art and culture, you can also hear it throughout the soundtrack, which features a lot of traditional Japanese instruments like the koto, taiko drums, fue and of course, the shamisen as a shamisen is an integral part of the story. And can I just say I feel like western culture needs more shamisen music? There's just something so elegant and simple yet so complex about the shamisen- it's really amazing to hear it used so frequently and masterfully in the soundtrack to this film. It's even featured in the title song "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" by Regina Spektor. 

There is constant danger for Kubo on his journey.
[Found on Google Images]

I was blown away by stunning art and beautiful music for sure, but what really impressed me was the story and the emotion put into this film. Kubo's story is one of courage, family, loyalty, as well as loss and grief. While many animated films that attract younger audiences do have themes of death and grief, they do have a tendency to not focus on the grieving, but rather the healing. That is fine, but for anyone who has ever loved and lost you will know how strong and strange grief can be, and how not only does it take strength to move forward from it, but it takes just as much strength if not more to fully feel and accept the pain we all feel with loss. A big theme in Kubo is that memories are the strongest form of magic, and our hero draws from that in order to defend himself from his enemies, which is an important lesson for not only younger viewers, but also adults, as I said.

One of the evil Sisters.
[Found on Google Images]

Kubo and the Two Strings is being promoted and marketed as a main stream animated family feature, when the film as a whole felt like a much more artsy venture. While the film is thoroughly enjoyable, younger children may find some of the more somber and quite moments boring so that should be something to keep in mind if you want to go see this movie with your kids. Other than that though, I'm having a really hard time finding anything in this movie to dislike. This film is definitely one of the better movies I've seen this year- so far it's in my Top 10, as well as other critics as they are giving the movie raving praise. Kubo is a movie well worth the price of a ticket, as well as a copy on Blue Ray (I can only imagine what that movie will look like in high definition). This film has earned it's place among the other great animated masterpieces that Laika has given us, but will also likely be counted in among other animated masterpieces for years to come. 

Kubo and his magic will live on in cinematic history for years to come.
[Found on Google Images]

"Hillary's America: The Secret of the Democratic Party" Movie Review

Of course this movie comes to Payson. We couldn't get Sausage Party- oooh no. We got convicted felon Dinesh D'souza's newest partisan conspiracy flick Hillary's America: The Secret of the Democratic Party. But to be fair, I can only imagine this film was just as raunchy as Sausage Party is, what with all of it's on-screen self-righteous ego masturbation. 

The beauty of film is that it's for everyone- anyone can find something they like. The cinematic arts appeal to so many people with so many tastes and ideals, a movie like this coming out during one of the most divisive elections our country has seen is no surprise. Also, one of the beautiful things about our country is our freedom of speech- while I may not agree with what one person says or thinks, I feel they have a right to say it and think it. Having said that, I am definitely not one of D'souza's intended demographic, and I am also not completely sold on which side is the better option this election. I, like many Americans, am not happy with our current options for who should be the leader of our nation. I am by no means a Trump supporter, but I am also not fully on Hillary's side. But after sitting through Hillary's America I am no more supportive of Hillary than I was before, but I am also no where near convinced that I should be supportive of the GOP. 

For those who aren't familiar with Mr. D'Souza's work, he has written and directed such films as America: Imagine the World Without Her (2014) and his biggest "hit", 2016: Obama's America (2012), which garnered an astonishing $33,349,949 during it's time in theaters, making it one of the highest grossing conservative films of all time. These films were created for a very specific audience, so of course said audiences ate these films up, but the same can be said for documentaries such as Fahrenheit 9/11 and Blackfish; both of which were huge hits with a more liberal audience. However, even some of the best documentaries are pretty biased toward the position the creators of the film take toward the topic they are talking about in the film but they present their argument for their position, generally, through the use of statistics, well-documented and sited quotes, and facts. Not all documentaries do so, and this is one such 'documentary.' I also use the term documentary loosely as this film was made up of wooden reenactments versus doing much else.. 

The film starts out with showing Mr. D'souza receiving his sentencing from a judge after he had been found guilty of violating campaign finance laws. Of course, he blames Obama for his sentence, as he had just created 2016: Obama's America before he was tried and found guilty. So the judge sentences Dinesh (being played by himself) to spend time in a halfway house, be

Dinesh D'souza is living the thug life in a halfway house
[Found on Google Images]

on probation, and have to go to mandatory psychological evaluations during that time. While he's at the halfway house, he makes friends with the criminals including a man named Roc who was thrown into jail because he started a life insurance scam where a few of his cronies would go out on the street, offer people life insurance policies with no down payments and a check for $5,000 just for signing up, and then a few days later go and kill them to collect the money. Of course, this Roc fellow isn't a real person- I mean, he could be, but Dinesh never clarifies if the character of Roc is being used to protect the name of someone who didn't want to be mentioned in the film or what. So for all I know, he's not a real guy. Anyway, so after talking about the finer points of con artistry with Roc, Dinesh starts to put together this idea that the Democratic party is part of the biggest con in history, and is wanting to steal America. 

Dinesh visits some Democratic history museum and manages to sneak into a room for "Employees only" and uncovers the truth about how the Democratic party was started. And here we learn that when the Democratic party first created it was lead by Andrew Jackson who was pro-slavery and drove Native Americans from their homelands to reservations, that the founder of the KKK was a member of the Democratic party as well as a lot of racists who supported the same ideology, Woodrow Wilson who was pro-segregation,

A KKK clansman leaps off the screen during the White House's
screening of Birth of a Nation. You know, cuz stuff like that happens
all the time.
[Found on Google Images]

and even brought up that Margaret Sanger, a Democrat and founder of Planned Parenthood, supported eugenics as a means to cleanse the country of racial impurity. 

All of these factors, to some extent or another, are true and many of today's Democrats don't argue that, as all of those things are historically valid. But the problem is D'souza seems to forget that both the Democratic and the Republican parties have changed drastically over the past 100 or so years. He does mention "The Big Switch" that took place when Democrats and Republicans switched their party platforms, but only once and without much explanation, which if you want to know more about this important historical tid-bit, you're SOL; you'll be needing to hit up Google to get some answers. 

D'souza touts the glory of the Republican party by focusing on President Lincoln, who was the first Republican to be elected to the presidency and all the good that he did in regards to the Emancipation Proclamation, but that's really the only Republican president he focuses on. He briefly mentions Reagan during the course of the film, but he never delves into his politics or platform as a president. Also, while the film is called Hillary's America, he does a poor job of showing what that America would look like, as he waits until the final 20 minutes of the movie to start talking about it. He finds his way to Hillary's campaign headquarters, and again lets himself into an "Employees Only" room where he is met with reenactments of Hillary as a young woman, and how dastardly and power hungry she is by nature, as he seems to heavily imply. From there, we are met with footage of victims of Bill Clinton's sexual scandals and Hillary's defense of her husband. This information translates into Hillary and Bill being a political "Bonnie and Clyde" who want to bend America to their will for profit. While I do accept that Bill Clinton has a pretty nasty history when it comes to sex scandals, let's not forget that the current Republican nominee has his own list of mysogeny and sexual assault against women, but D'souza never touches on that, of course. 

The film then wraps up with Dinesh telling the audience that while he can't vote thanks to his conviction, he hopes the audience will go out and make the right choice. He walks off screen and the audience is met with a full scale band, an adorable girl-child in a white dress, and a large choir performing "The Star Spangled Banner" accompanied by stock footage of cowboys, children running with American flags, The Blue Angels, cannon fire, fireworks, mountain ranges and everything else that screams Americana for the last 3 minutes of the film. 

Margaret Sanger hangin' with the Clan and talking
about eugenics.
[Found on Google Images]

Honestly, thanks to poor editing, ridiculous moments of acting, and a lack of a solid argument as to why Clinton would be a bad candidate, this film is nothing but conspiracy-theorist garbage. While there could be a solid argument as to why Hillary would be a bad option for President and why she could clearly be considered a criminal, D'souza never provides any hard evidence to sway his audience, but rather just plays news footage and audio recordings that the Fox News crowd has seen and posted on Facebook at least a million times by now. 

While a lot of people are really fired up over this election, myself included, Hillary's America follows the same formula for bullshit that the rest of Dinesh's films follow; surprise, surprise. If you are the type of person who just can't stand Hillary no matter what the reason, you may enjoy this movie. But for anyone looking for a logical argument based on current and relevant facts to help form an educated opinion of who you should consider for president- do yourself a favor and look elsewhere. 

"Nine Lives" Movie Review

Well... This movie certainly did not land on it's feet. 

"Nine Lives" is a family film that unluckily hit theaters the same weekend as "Suicide Squad", which is undeniably one of the most anticipated movies of the summer if not the year. And while critics and some fans have not been kind to "Suicide Squad" in their reviews and ratings, they have definitely been harder on this film. But is "Nine Lives" really deserving of such low ratings? In a way, yes. 

"Nine Lives" tells the story of Tom Brand (played by Kevin Spacey), the billionaire businessman who owns "FireBrand"- some nondescript company that buys things, and builds things, but that's all we really know about it. And FireBrand's big schtick all through the movie is they want to build the world's largest building. Which is one heck of a goal, because apparently people want to throw money at the business that has the biggest building. However, some

Mr. Brand and his daughter Rebecca discussing
birthday gifts. [Found on Google Images]

company in Chicago is constructing a building that is 60 feet taller than the FireBrand building, and that is just the worst thing ever I guess. So, Brand's sleazy right-hand-man Ian (Mark Consuelos) refuses to tell Brand about the height differential, which is "no big deal" to him. 

Then, we are introduced to Tom's wife Lara (Jennifer Garner) and his daughter Rebecca (Malina Weissman) who are moping around the house about how Tom is never home. Actually, Lara is the only one moping over it. Rebecca is just the most optimistic and cheerful Mary-Sue character I've seen since the original film version of "Annie". Anyway, it's the day before Rebecca's 11th birthday, so Lara is pressing Tom to get her something nice, but all Rebecca wants is a cat. Tom hates cats, so he tries really hard not to get one for her, but finally concedes. He goes to this random hole-in-the-wall pet shop called "Purrkins Petshop" run by the eccentric Christopher Walken. Actually, the character's name is Felix Perkins, but really, it's just Christopher Walken in a pet shop. So, Christopher Walken gets Tom to take a fluffy cat named "Mister FuzzyPants" (because of course that's his name), and as Tom is leaving the shop, Walken turns to his horde of cats and says "Let's do this," suggesting that he and the cats have something magical up their sleeves. Boy, are we on the road to disappointment. 

So before he goes back to his home with Mister FuzzyPants for his daughter's birthday, he swings back by the FireBrand building because while at "Purrkin's", he caught a glimpse of a news anchor doing a story about how the Chicago tower is taller than his, so he pulls Ian up on the roof of the building with him and the cat in a rain storm and proceeds to yell at Ian about how he's a failure, and how he's fired, and blah blah blah. Then lightning hits the roof, blowing Tom and Mister Fuzzypants off the side of the building, and Ian just watches Tom and the cat dangle from the side of the building but doesn't want to help them, since he was about to get fired and all. It's amazing how getting fired can change people's minds about letting people fall off buildings. When they eventually fall, however, they crash through a window before they hit the ground.  When Tom wakes up, he sees his body being loaded up on a stretcher, but then he

Perkins (Christopher Walken) talking to
Mister Fuzzypants [Found on Google Images]

realizes he's trapped in Fuzzypants' body, to which his response is, "...Really?". Christopher Walken tracks him down and tells him that in order to be a man again, he has one week to reconnect with his family, or he'll be trapped in the cat's body forever. Oh yeah- Christopher Walken talks to cats in this movie, FYI. 


Normally, I just write a little summary of the plot, and then I move right along with my thoughts on the movie. But for this movie, I felt it was important to explain all of that nonsense, which is what this flick is made up of. This movie was not only painfully predictable, but it is so full of plot holes any rational person can't make it through this film without asking a minimum of 3 questions. The movie literally made no attempt at explaining how Tom becomes a cat, or how Christopher Walken can talk to cats, or what the hell Lara sees in her husband to begin with, or why Tom is so obsessed with his fancy building or anything. At the beginning of the movie we're introduced to Tom by way of showing him and his adult son in a plane getting ready to go sky diving on his way to a press junket. Tom isn't a professional sky diver, or extreme sportsman. In the interior of FireBrand you see panels on a wall with pictures of Tom playing golf and other things, but it's never mentioned if he's an avid sportsman, or if his company could possibly sell sporting equipment, but it never says for sure. So really, not only was the story introducing us to the main character, but also to an endless string of McGuffins that this movie is loaded with. 

"Nine Lives" follows the tired plot of "overworked dad must become an animal to become more human" which has been done to death, even by talking animal movie standards. In pacing, plot and predictability this film is right on par with the 2005 remake of "The Shaggy Dog" starring Tim Allen, which was also a remake of the original 1960's classic of the same name. And I say

Jennifer Garner trying to get her keys from Fuzzypants
[Found on Google Images]

that film is a classic because not only did it come out during the Golden Age of live-action Disney films, it was also one of the first movies to capitalize on the fore mentioned theme before it got ridiculously overused. The movie makes it a point to show the audience how "Tom isn't involved with his family", when really, aside from working too much, he seemed to have really good chemistry with his daughter, son, and wife. Sure he could be a little curmudgeonly about certain things, but what parent or working adult can say they've never been cranky, or overworked, or stressed out and acted out from that?  

And in regards to the cat and the cat humor, even that wasn't very good. During the opening credits there are a ton of phone-shot cat videos but none of them are particularly funny. And don't get me wrong- I am a fan of internet cat videos. But if you're going to take the time to show funny cat videos, actually show funny cat videos. I'm telling you, a little "Shock Kitten" or "Ninja Cat" would go a long way. For the most part, I will give it to them, the cat animation was fairly good, especially since the film didn't come from a major movie studio, but there were a few scenes were the animation left a little to be desired. For example, there was one scene in particular that was supposed to be heartwarming that involved Mister Fuzzypants and Rebecca dancing as they were reconnecting, but honestly, the cat's movements were super awkward, and the look he gave his daughter during the scene with his kitty-cat eyes was

Some of the animation in this film was great. Some
was not....
[Found on Google Images]

a little bit creepy. However, I do have to give the movie kudos on one thing; when Tom becomes a cat, he is a man trapped in a cat's body. I know that idea has been incorporated into every "human-to-animal" movie, but this one actually plays it straight- a man trapped in a cat's body. Let's look back to "The Shaggy Dog"- in that film, after Tim Allen became a dog, he would also inherit the dog's tendencies and animal nature even in his human body; tennis balls would be super interesting, growling at people who angered him was an appropriate expression of disapproval, and chasing a cat is a top priority. However, in this film, Tom is not interested with anything cat related. He's disgusted by cat food, he isn't interested in cat toys, can't land on his feet, and is still into manly things like drinking scotch (Yes. There is a scene where a cat drinks scotch). 



I also can't help but feel that another thing that works against this film is its misuse of Kevin Spacey. The majority of Spacey's screen time isn't actually spent on screen. Instead, he's a voice that's imposed over Mister Fuzzypants, but while this is a talking cat movie, there aren't any moving animated mouths; it's all very much like Garfeild but less humorous. While Spacey does deliver a lot of chuckle-worthy jokes (especially at the expense of his ex-wife), on the

CGI Fuzzypants sharing a dance with Rebecca
[Found on Google Images]

whole, a lot of the jokes are just weak. I can't help but feel that this movie underutilized what is essentially one of the strongest actors in Hollywood. Spacey is without a doubt a heavy-weight in the world of film. This also isn't his first foray into animation; in 1998 he played Hopper in Pixar's "A Bug's Life", and while this wasn't one of Pixar's most-loved films, many people can agree that Spacey brought a lot of weight and character into his role. This film, while earnest, just didn't have too much in the way of interesting characters, even when faced with something exciting; like being turned into a cat, for example. 

And moving on to the cast, really I have to give whoever did the casting in this film a big round of applause for even landing Kevin Spacey for this. He was definitely the highest caliber actor they had in the cast. Jennifer Garner honestly has had better performances, but this felt like she just said yes to get a paycheck. I mean with this film, "Miracles from Heaven" and a multitude of Garnier commercials under her belt, this literally had to just be a pad-the-wallet job. And as for Christopher Walken, I'm pretty sure he just wandered onto set and started playing along with the cast. But on the other hand, this film has a pretty good roster for Internet and App-famous cats. For example, there's Hamilton the Hipster Cat, Lil Bub AND Talking Tom gets screen time and film credits. Talking Tom. Let that sink in for a minute. 

Talking Tom (above) gets actual screen credit in this film... Really??
But seeing Lil Bub (below) on screen was cool, so there's that I guess...
[Found on Google Images]

Honestly, this whole movie felt a lot like a made-for-TV Hallmark movie, and frankly, Europacorp probably would have saved a lot of time and money just making the film that way. But was it really horrible? Well, I've seen worse movies, like "The Shaggy Dog" remake that I am honestly shocked has a higher rating on Rotten Tomatoes- that movie was awful for so many reasons. This movie, while not the best, was at least an earnest attempt at making a fun family movie. And I'm probably being too harsh of a judge, because the other members of the audience were busting a gut and enjoying themselves. Ultimately, this type of movie doesn't appeal to me, clearly. But if you do enjoy movies like this, who knows- you may just fall in love with it. This film was harmless as far as movies go, but it doesn't make a huge attempt to do anything new for the genre, but rather plays it really safe. This film did have a few highlights, but ultimately it all fell a little short.  

"Suicide Squad" Movie Review

"Suicide Squad" is one of, if not the, most hyped movies of 2016. After a teaser trailer was unleashed at Comic Con in 2015 and was then leaked online, the fervor to see this movie has been ridiculously high. I personally have also been chomping at the bit to see this movie for a little over a year now (any one of my friends can confirm this as I'm sure I became pretty annoying in my discussion of the movie and how excited I was to see it). After a great ad campaign and loads of teasers, the "Skwad" has finally hit theaters. During what has been described by many, a disappointing summer for movies, "Suicide Squad" was supposed to be the shot of adrenaline that brought the season back to life with pure villainous synergy. 

Amanda Waller as played by Viola Davis
[Found on Google Images]

I have been missing most of summer's cinematic offerings thanks to my stint with abject poverty (that's a discussion for a later blog), so I was hell bent to NOT miss this movie. I made it there opening night and was greeted with the movie I had been waiting for, and while there was a lot I really, really, REALLY liked, I was a bit disappointed because I ended up not loving it nearly as much as I wanted to. 

"Suicide Squad", for those who don't know, focuses on government agent Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) who gathers a group of dangerous and "metahuman"criminals with no hope of ever getting out of prison to create "Task Force X", who she then makes perform covert suicide missions in return for clemency. After a supernatural threat is unleashed on Midway City and is threatening the world, Waller sends in her group of villains led by solider Rick Flagg (Joel Kinnaman) to wipe it out and save the planet. 

If you're not a big comic book fan, this film gives you the opportunity to meet some of DC's most interesting and dangerous bad guys that haven't had any exposure on the big screen; there's Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) who is a man with the skin, teeth, and strength of a crocodile who has no problem brutalizing (and sometimes eating) anyone who crosses his

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as the impressive
Killer Croc
[Found on Google Images]

path. Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney) who is an Aussie with crazy boomerang skills and a taste for robbery, El Diablo (Jay Hernandez)- a man who has devilish pyrokinetic powers, Deadshot (Will Smith); an assassin for hire who never, and I mean never, misses a shot no matter how impossible, and Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie); a former psychiatrist who fell in love with the Clown Prince of Crime, a.k.a. The Joker (Jared Leto), and through a series of torture, brainwashing, and a chemical dip became as crazy and dangerous as her "puddin'" is, if not more so. 

This is the first time any of these big-time baddies have had any time on the Silver Screen, which is pretty awesome since we live in a world of reboots and sequels. Sure, new villains get introduced in super hero movies all the time, but usually it's in a rebooted franchise (X-Men and Spiderman come to mind) or it's around a continued story line for a hero/heroes (the rest of Marvel's films) but this is the first time the super villains have their own movie, and the heroes play second fiddle in the story. That right there was hugely interesting to me as DC has some of the best and most interesting villains in their comics and stories. 

Harley and Deadshot [Found on Google Images]

I was blown away by the actors in the Suicide Squad- all of their characters complimented each other nicely, and the audience can feel and see the connection between them. They had great chemistry and that really made the movie work well. According to multiple sources the cast wasn't only close on screen but they've also bonded as a group outside of filming. Will Smith recently was on Jimmy Fallon's late night talk show and even said that he hasn't had any experience on set comparable to this experience, and it shows. While the group as a whole were great together, there were a few different performances that stood out to me. 

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn [Found on Google Images]

Margot Robbie was one of the biggest surprises in the movie, as she literally nailed the role of Harley Quinn. She had the accent, the humor (including the cringe-worthy jokes that Harley was known for) and she was able to tap into Harley's insane love for the Joker, which isn't an easy love to show. She was likable but also unhinged and was so entertaining she stole just about every scene she was a part of in the movie. 

Will Smith also really impressed me with his portrayal of Floyd Lawton a.k.a Deadshot. After seeing one too many Will-Smith-movie flops, I was worried that this was going to be another round of Will-Smith-playing-Will-Smith. Rather, it was Will-Smith-playing-a-character-with-Will-Smith-humor which was perfect. The movie also included his backstory to establish his history with the audience, and it added a lot of complexity to the character in a short amount of time. Not only do we learn just what a deadly badass he is, but also he's just a dad trying to stay with his daughter and keep her safe and happy which makes him a much more relateable and layered man. 

Another character that really stood out to me was El Diablo. He is definitely the strongest and most dangerous member of the team since he has immense pyrokenetic abilities (think "Firestarter" but much more controlled), but he also refuses to use this power through most of the movie due to tragic moments in his past that shaped him into the character we meet in the

Jay Hernandez lights up the screen as Diablo
[Found on Google Images]

film. I loved his toned-down attitude and how he tried so hard to remain passive through most of the film because that adds real strength to his character. And when he does break his restraints to help the team it's incredible- I wasn't expecting him to be as amazing as he was so that was really impressive in my eyes. 

The other characters in the movie weren't without merit- I am looking forward to a Suicide Squad sequel where we get to see more Captain Boomerang, Killer Croc and hopefully Katana. 

This movie was great fun, but no film is without it's faults. And while this one didn't have too many, they definitely landed a few good blows to what would otherwise be a thoroughly enjoyable flick. 

Katana and her sword Soultaker
[Found on Google Images]

My first gripe is also what a lot of other critics and movie-goers are picking at; the villain. Of course, in a movie full of villains it's extremely hard to have a bigger villain than the rest of the cast. The big baddie in "Suicide Squad" is a 6000 year old witch from another dimension named Enchantress. She can posses hosts, travel anywhere on Earth in the blink of an eye, and is damn formidable in battle. It should be easy to come up with something compelling for her, right? Well, if that's what you were thinking you would be wrong. Unfortunately, the plot took the current Super-Hero-Movie standard of "Bad guy wants to take over world for reasons,

The Enchantress played by Cara Delevingne
[Found on Google Images]

creates giant machine to do that, team has to shut machine down, bad guy beaten." Seriously, lately that seems to be the most used plot device for these types of movies. While her purpose in the film was definitely squandered, I thought the portrayal of the character was interesting. The way she moved, how she dressed, her makeup and hair- everything was very attention-grabbing for me. I wish something different could have been done with this powerful and interesting character, but it is what it is.

As much as the villain bummed me out, it's not a drop in the bucket compared to what really angered me about this movie. 

"Suicide Squad" introduces us to the new Joker who was played by Jared Leto (as previously mentioned). It's been 8 years since the Joker has been in a major motion picture; the last time we saw him, he was portrayed incredibly by the late Heath Ledger who won an Oscar for his performance. Ledger shattered all expectations when he went on screen as the Joker- he took the role to a whole other dark and twisted level that hadn't been explored in superhero films, and nothing has been able to hold a candle to it since then. Enter Jared Leto- an equally

Jared Leto as The Joker
[Found on Google Images]

dedicated and talented method actor who for months never broke character and got so into the Joker's head that his costars were afraid of him. And every time he was on the screen, all eyes were on him. When I saw and heard the Joker I was never sure if I should laugh with his jokes, be drawn in by his charismatic edginess, or be utterly terrified because I didn't know what he was going to do next. And THAT is what the Joker is all about, ladies and gentlemen. However, as much as I loved him, I wanted to see so much more of him, but I was sorely disappointed. 

All of the ads, teasers, trailers, plugs and spots strongly pushed the notion that the Joker was going to be an integral part of the film, and that was a huge draw for a lot of people. When the teasers and ads started coming out for the film, and the new look of the Joker was shown, people were really resistant to his sleek apparel and his plethora of tattoos, which of course is a far cry from the standard look of the Joker. Once that dropped, the hype around the movie really started to pick up, and the more hype there was, the more the Joker was pushed in trailers and was teased as being a big deal in the movie. But after seeing the film, he was in about 5 or 6 scenes, only 3 with any major dialog, and all of those scenes were way too short for my liking as well as the liking of other viewers, and Jared Leto himself. He was recently being interviewed by Movie'n'co about his role in the film, and  was asked what he would say to fans who wanted the Joker to have more time on screen, and he said, "To the people who want more Joker, I'd say 'Me, too'." 

With ads like this putting Harley and
Joker front and center, how could we not
think they would be a bigger part of the movie?
[Found on Google Images]

This film also introduces the world to Harley Quinn and Joker's twisted relationship. Anyone who has seen the animated series where she first appeared, or read any comics featuring her and "Mistah J" together (especially The New 52) will tell you how dark, abusive and insane their relationship is. The history of their love was first explained in an episode on "The New Batman Adventures" called "Mad Love". The basis of that story has be changed and adapted since, and was altered in The New 52 comics, which this film seems to use for their Harley and Joker origin story. However, while the movie tried to make it look slightly more romantic, they totally glossed over the abuse and head-games Joker and Harley doled out to one another which is a major part of their relationship. In this film, while he is definitely and unquestionably a bad guy, in my opinion he comes across as less abusive than Christian Grey in "50 Shades of Grey", as everything he asks of Harley, she does willingly rather than being coerced into it. And when The Joker is less abusive than Christian Grey, you're doing something wrong. 

UItimately, while these two points were really disappointing, the film is still enjoyable. I'll be interested to see what comes in the future as far as sequels and how the Squad will tie into the DC Cinematic Universe. "Suicide Squad" has already broken August box office records despite the critical beating it's been taking. And even with all of the movie's problems, I myself don't think it's warranting the dismal 26% Rotten Tomatoes is giving it. I mean, that's putting this movie on the same level as "Green Lantern." "Green Lantern"?? Really?? This film is MUCH more balanced and entertaining than that unfortunate DC trainwreck. Of course, the response to "Suicide Squad" has been almost as divisive as the reaction to "Batman v. Superman", so I guess it's really up to the audience member in question. This movie goer on the other hand, really liked the movie. I wanted to fall in love with it, but instead I just have a solid appreciation for it. This movie definitely helped DC gain closer ground to a movie that is as impressive as what Marvel is putting out, but there is still some things that clearly need to be done to close the gap between the two. 

"The Secret Life of Pets" Review

Baxter and I about to go on a bike ride

 

Anyone who knows me knows I love all of my pets. Especially, not to pick favorites; my dog Baxter. I adopted him about 3 years ago and we have been the best of friends ever since. The bond Baxter and I have is just like any loving pet parent and their fur/scale/feather companions- there's something special about owning a pet that just can't be explained. On one hand, it's extremely fascinating for members of completely different species to form bonds with one another as very few creatures are capable of such a feat when left to their own devices, but also there's just so much love that can be felt with our pets that is a very different type of love than the type we build with other people in our lives.


As a pet lover, I was very excited to see this film thanks to its clever and numerous advertisements that perfectly seemed to celebrate not only the bond between owner and pet, but also have fun with the thought "Just what does my pet do when I'm not around?" After what seemed like forever I finally saw the movie and I wasn't disappointed.

I wasn't exactly blown away, but I wasn't disappointed. 

"The Secret Life of Pets" is the new animated film from Illumination Animation and it tells the story of a spoiled terrier mix named Max who lives in New York City with his loving owner Katie. One day Katie brings home a new dog from the pound named Duke and the two dogs automatically start bickering over food, living space, and of course Katie's attention. However, the two pets accidentally wind up getting lost and captured by animal control, but soon they are busted out by the adorable and insane bunny Snowball who is the leader of The Flushed Pets- a group of animals who for one reason or another, have been abandoned by their owners. At the same time, Max's pomeranian neighbor Gidget is desperate to find him, so she teams up with other pets in their neighborhood to track him down and bring him safely home. 

Duke and Max are introduced (above)
- and they aren't too thrilled about it (below)
[Found on Google Images]

This movie lands some pretty solid pet jokes that had me chuckling throughout, and I really liked the upbeat and colorful animation that Illumination is known for. I loved all of the banter between the different animals in the movie and I really was impressed with how they kept the focus not on the owners, but the pets- where the story needed to be. I was also very impressed with how the animation team

and the director were able to tap into the minds and mannerisms that our pets exhibit- from playing with their toys, to being excited when their owners come home, and their interest in chasing butterflies. All of these factors paired with a great cast of some of my favorite comedians (Louis C.K., Jenny Slate, Dana Carvey, Eric Stonestreet, etc.), and a story that does have a lot of humor and heart behind it made for an enjoyable film, but unfortunately it wasn't as great as I envisioned it being.

Fat-cat Chloe has her eyes on a tasty prize
[Found on Google Images]

This movie was cute and entertaining but it wasn't all that much to shake a stick at story-wise. The concept of the movie has been done a thousand times- Character A is living an ideal life until Character B is introduced and upsets Character A's world. After a series of unfortunate events, Character A and B must put aside their differences and work together to get out of their current situation and become friends by the end of the story. Ultimately, it didn't really bring anything new to the table. In regards to certain scenes, especially the scenes that dove deeper into Duke's character as well as the characters of The Flushed Pets; it would have been nice to have a little more focus on why and how they became the way they are during the present. They explored it with Duke more so than the Flushed Pets, but  I feel that had they delved deeper into his past it would have made a more lasting impression with movie goers.

Max enjoying chewing Katie's shoes [Found on Google Images]

 Also, there was a VERY odd scene that literally comes right out of no where and really took me out of the film for a while. If you've seen the movie you'll know EXACTLY the scene I'm talking about, and if you haven't seen it yet consider yourself warned- you'll know it when you see it. It was odd, jarring, has nothing to do with the plot or the progression of the movie and is literally never referred to again. I was reminded of a scene from the movie "All Dogs Go To Heaven" in which a giant musical alligator performs a song-and-splash number that is also never brought up again in the film and has almost nothing to do with the story. I say 'almost' because it does serve as a plot device to aid in the eventual destruction of the villain in that film, but this scene doesn't even do that. It was so beyond anything I was expecting and I'm still not sure why this was even incorporated into the final product- it seems like something that would be much more at home in the "Deleted Scenes" menu on the DVD.  

Snowball has Max and Duke go through "Initiation" to join the Flushed Pets
[Found on Google Images]

But really, I feel like I'm nit-picking a pretty good movie by pointing those minor things out. While the movie wasn't anything that I haven't seen before, it was still very enjoyable and is probably one of the better animated films I've seen so far this year. While "The Secret Life of Pets" is no "Zootopia", it is miles ahead of bland movies like "Ratchet & Clank". 

So ultimately, the film is definitely worth checking out. While it probably won't be the most memorable animated film as the years go by, it is definitely a film that lives in the moment and can bring a smile to everyone's face- much like our beloved pets do. 

The love between pet and owner [Found on Google Images]